Are there masculine sensations you have felt, that you are confident you would have felt even without growing up in a masculine culture?
There was this sorta cute, pretty smart girl I knew. I knew I could have had her, maybe her girlfriend too. I didn't, for my own neurotic reasons. I look at her now and realize she's grown fat. Borderline irreparable. Maybe she isn't even with the same girl anymore, maybe she's growing old alone and fat. I'm a healthy living kind of guy, I still get mistaken for a kid a decade younger than I am.
In this, I feel a masculine urge through regret.
I should have taken her. I deserved to take her. I had a duty to master her. I should have seized her and made her thrive. Made her watch her weight, made her life more interesting than a food addiction.
Clearly nobody else did it. I wouldn't have been treading on anybody else's toes if I took two girls I felt some affinity towards and gave them some affection. I wouldn't be more mentally drained by it either, I have plenty of love to give. I doubt that being stingy with my capacity to love has helped it grow.
So I made some miscalculations, but at least I finally get what people mean when they talk about a nurturing male archetype.
What gives rise to the culture of masculinity?
